readings and such
i saw a soul reader (aka manghuhula) a few weeks ago. she's actually my tita's friend and a some people in my extended family recommended her.to be honest, it took me quite a while to gather the courage to go to a reading. i used to justify it by saying that i didn't really feel like it, or that i didn't see the point. when i finally decided to go, i realized that the real reason that i didn't want a reading was that i was afraid of what i might hear.
when my family and friends told me about the readings the seer had given them, they were frighteningly accurate. what the reader does is, she tells you where you are right now and the path that you're on. she actually tells you that things could change, because the path you follow is based on your own decisions. that was what scared me. i wanted to think that i was on the right path. i didn't want to change anything. there were, in fact, truths that i wasn't ready to face.
so, anyway, i finally decided to go to the soul reader. the first thing she told me was that i was stressed out. she told me to take a break, but not go on vacation. just do something to clear my mind. my stress wasn't even purely professional. half of it was personal. she said i was a worrier and that my worrying was cyclical. this attitude actually helps me a lot in terms of efficiency, but she said that it was cutting into my happiness. BIG TIME. she even said that i was ok, but i wasn't really happy
of course, there were a lot of other things that were mentioned in that reading, but that was the thing that really hit me. i'm not taking care of myself. i'm not happy. i mean, i'm ok. i can live with myself. in fact, i can go on like this forever, but it's like there's a part of me that's just empty and sad. do i really want to stay this way?
in any case, that was the weirdest wake up call i had ever gotten, especially since she was a seer and not a therapist. i even felt like crying during the reading. (btw, i didn't. i still had control over my emotions.)
now, i'm faced with the decision to be happy. it's not something that'll just happen to me. i've pretty much made myself ok with being ok, if you catch what i mean, but i need to consciously go after the things that'll make me feel a great deal better than just being "fine".
i know that this won't be easy. i'm not even sure how successful i'll be in pursuing this goal. nonetheless, the fact that i've acknowledged what's missing in my life should be a good start.
posted by ritz_therese @ 12:15 PM
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